The Essence of She (Pt. 2)

Tessa is a Vampire

The Essence of She (Pt. 1)

Rah is a Robot

Birthday Bash!

Last night: a night to remember

The celebration of a lifetime, Dan turning 29, and I 21.

It started in the AM with turkey&cheese crepes and fruit. best crepes ever! followed by a gripping and riotous game of Apples to Apples. the rest of the afternoon was spent mulling around the apartment, listening to music, talking smack, and wrapping presents. 

The party started at Radegast Hall & Beer Garden, with pints upon pints of octoberfest and heffevizen, drunken shouting, loving friends, crazy good french fries, and Sarah's beautiful homemade cakes. There were about 15 of us crammed into a small section of the beer hall style dining room, getting hammered and spending way too much money. I received a Laptop, some moneys, free drinks, and some hugs (all i could ever ask for) and Dan got some whiskey (wrapped in the tranny adds from the village voice) some books, and a Sarah Palin blow-up sex-doll, the highlight of the night. She went everywhere with us, untill she met her inevitable horrible demise, more on that later. As soon as he got Mrs. Palin he proceeded to inflate her. Everyone in the bar went wild, as her vag was where her belly button should have been, and the hole in her bum was one of the knarlyest things ive ever seen. people poured over to our table to take raunchy pictures with her, mimicking her "ready and willing" O face, putting strange things in her plastic taint, and cupping her shiny ample boobies. good times. Sarah's friend Heather came (i don't actually remember her name but lets call her heather), with her cute little gay roommate kyle (shwing!) but when he seemed to show little interest, i quickly lost mine. 

When we realized we were all too tipsy for our original plan, late night bowling, and also broke from the 500$ tab, we decided to go to LuLu's for karaoke instead. We ran there in the rain, sauced and sloppy, trudging through puddles and offending as many people as possible with our blow-up friend. Promptly upon arriving came the birthday shots, which no one really needed, but its my party and ill get incapacitated if i want. Again, people wanting pictures of Mrs. Palin. We sang, and sang. I decided to sing DEVO's 'The girl you want' Clark sang some Nirvana, Sarah sang some blondie and madonna, Dan sang some adam sandler. is it Sang or Sung? The singing and dancing ensued until antics became nuisances, and wasted became inebriated. A group of us decided to take off to clark and sarah's place. it was clark, sarah, heather, kyle (indeed the gayboy) george, and I. We stumbled to the subway, and thankfully were only 3 stops from home on the L train, as i would have yarfed after 4 stops. People on the subway weren't as nice as the people in the bars and on the streets, they were angry about the blow-up doll, and sarah yelling "Its sarah palin! don't vote for her, she's a slut" as she stuffed her fingers in the dolls minge really didn't help. I suddenly realized there was a young girl gawking at us, and when her dad realized what was going on, he got maaaad. (and gayboy got scaaared) but who has their 7 year old on the shady L at 2:30 in the morning? a douche thats who, and sarah quickly pointed that out, in her belligerent drunken way. thankfully nothing came of it, he was a crazy but not too crazy. 

Once we got off the train, clark (who was the wastedest of us all) decided to throw Mrs. Palin onto the train tracks. as funny as it was a first, i couldn't help but think of the poor diver of the next subway car, who must have shit bricks when seeing what looked like a person laying on the tracks. Thats all kinds of bad karma for poor clark. When we got home, we realized we had lost George along the way, he was walking with us to the subway, but wasn't on the subway. 'eh' we said, 'he'll be fine.' Shortly after getting home Dan arrived, and we all watched junk tv and reminisced. Shortly after that, george found his way home, he came in extremely pissed off and kicked stuff on the way to his room, and managed to not make it to his bed, and decided to crash on his floor. When we asked him this morning what happened, he had no idea. i guess we'll never know. We decided to go up to the roof and smoke stogies, when coming back in kyle locked dan and heather out, dan took that as a green light to mack on her. She eventually reluctantly gave in and went to his room with him. leaving me and kyle alone in the living room, with only a couch to sleep on. again, Shwing! The night ended the way birthdays should always end, with both birthday boys getting layed. Aside from the slight awkwardness in the morning, and the group of hung-over people with only tylenol PM, it was the best birthday party ever :)

Hmm...

Blogging, blogging, blogging.

Ive never participated in the craze that is blogging, but figured id give it a shot. So what should one include in their first blog? Something witty? Something entertaining? Something mentally rousing? well fuck that, im going to be as mundane as possible, because im a recalcitrant douche. 

No blog soup for you